Why Engineers Aren't Allowed to Write Cookbooks

Collect the following ingredients:

  1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
  2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
  3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
  4. 236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
  5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
  6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
  7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
  8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein ovoids
  9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
  10. 236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

Instructions: To a jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two, and three with constant agitation. In a second reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction. Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316 SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460sK oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25sC heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

Enjoy your Chocolate Chip Cookies


More Engineer Humor:

Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?

A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

 

Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?

A: Tie her to a chair, stand in front of her, and fold up a road map the wrong way.

You might be an engineer if:

  • You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
  • In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
  • The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.
  • At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
  • You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
  • You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own handwriting.
  • You sit backwards on Disney rides so you can see how they do the special effects.
  • You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
  • You know what http:// stands for.
  • You look forward to Christmas so you can put together the kids' toys.
  • You see a good design, and have to change it.
  • You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
  • You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
  • You window shop at Radio Shack.
  • You've already calculated how much you make per second.
  • You've tried to repair a $5 radio.

 


Even More Engineer Humor:

Comprehending Engineers - Take One

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To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

 

Comprehending Engineers-Take Two

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What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

 

Comprehending Engineers-Take Three

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

 

Comprehending Engineers-Take Four

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Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

 

Comprehending Engineers-Take Five

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An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to her and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a handsome prince." She bent over, picked up the frog and put it in her pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a handsome prince, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of her pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a prince, I'll be your devoted boyfriend." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into her pocket.  Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a handsome prince, and that I'll be your devoted boyfriend.  Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a boyfriend, but a talking frog......that's cool."

 

 

 
 


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