Cool Physics Jokes

Grade School

Q:  What did the boy magnet say to the girl magnet?
A:  From your backside, I thought you were quite repulsive.  However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.

High School

Q:  What do you call 1 kilogram of falling figs?
​A:  1 Fig Newton

Q:  Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?   
​A:  Because it's in the ground state.

A physicist's favorite bumper sticker: "Absolute zero is really cool!"

A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, "Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?" The photon says, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Q:  What is a nuclear physicist's favorite meal? 
A:  Fission Chips. 

What a physicist hears when he watches "Star Wars":
"May the mass times acceleration be with you!"

A man was recently cooled to absolute zero- but he's 0K now.

Did you hear about the physicist who was reading a great book on anti-gravity?
​He couldn't put it down.

College

Entropy just isn't what it used to be.

Dr. Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop.  The cop says: "Do you know how fast you were going?"  Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

Schrödinger's dishes: 
Both broken and unbroken until you open the door.

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​Q. Why is quantum mechanics the original "original hipster"?
A. It described the universe before it was cool.

There's a new theory of inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

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